Daily Mash (satire)- Hedge funds have overtaken the Big Bang as the most important thing people know nothing about.

As a massive American hedge fund faces imminent collapse, millions of people across the globe have found themselves panicking without the faintest idea why.

Tom Logan, head of markets at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: "This fund was over-speculated in long-term, prime-reverse wide-money.

"It could be devastating or it could be utterly insignificant.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said the confusion over hedge funds had arisen because many ordinary people were buying the Economist, but then reading it upside down.

More at the Daily Mash; HEDGE FUNDS NOW MOST IMPORTANT THING PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT